* Sorry for the late post, but I lost my password... And my username... That should pretty much explain
Yeah, I had to pick magenta.
I'm fortunate enough to be on of the co-owners of a delightful, thousand pound, yowling Maine Coon kitty named Arthur. Every morning at 5 this ball of fluffy wonder will find a way to sit on me, whether it's precariously perched on my shoulder/side, on my back, or my stomach, he will sit. And slowly but not subtly he'll move closer and closer to me, until I have a mouth/ear/head full of fur. At that point I'll open my eyes, naturally. This is a big mistake, because as soon as he knows that I'm awake he'll stare me down. If I don't move within two minutes of having established eye contact, I'll have a big paw pushed into my cheek. Of course I'll sit up to pet him, but once my head is in a somewhat vertical position, he'll start meowing. And when I say meowing I don't mean "Nyauuuuu~" I mean "ME-GET YOUR BUTT UP AND FEED ME YOU JERK- OWWWWWWWWWWWRWAR".
This probably seems louder because it's at 5:10, but you get the picture. After getting out of bed to preserve my sanity, I get to listen to bullets of cat-crying ricochet off the walls as I stumble down the hall to where we feed the cat. When trying to walk I must be aware of him weaving through my legs in anticipation, though it's not very effective considering that I woke up not even two minutes ago. This frenzy doesn't let up until I've filled Arthur's bowl and placed it on the floor for it to be devoured at warp speed.
Morning ritual aside, Arthur was the one who first opened my eyes to the theory of Feline Expansion. Basically, in a bed, the less space there is, the more space your cat will take up. Hold on, that sounds stupid... I'll just give a real life example
It was pretty late at night, and I was (Unsuccessfully) trying to sleep, and Arthur jumped on my bed and sat on my pillow. Being the generous human I am (Not really, but for the sake of this example please pardon the augment to my personality) I moved my head over so he could lay down. I made sure that there was a space between my head and his feline-ness. About five minutes later his body was plastered to the side of my face, so I moved over more. Within ten minutes my head was on the mattress, and he was taking up my pillow.
This is not the only encounter I've had with this phenomenon, though. My best friend has an adorably small feline that is composed mostly of fluffy black fur and razor sharp claws. Somehow this tiny little kitty can take up almost all of the space in the bed when she sleeps next to me. I'm almost sure that cats have flaps that they unfurl when they find a suitable resting place. These flaps could amplify the volume of the cat by almost 300%.
But this could also be my active imagination running away with the wind.
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