When I was a kid, I didn't know how to tell people that something was wrong in my home life. Of course, what kid really does? I was passed through public school, without even a thought that I may have been attacked. I was always aggressive to my peers, but sweet to the teachers. I even went to a counselor, but she diagnosed me with anger issues. Since I was just a kid who was doing well in school nobody took a second glance.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Really quick.
I just wanted to give everyone a heads up about the new ruling. The European Union requires that I give you guys information about cookies. There should be a notice, but if it isn't there then this post should at least cover a few things. They add cookies to improve your ad experience.
That's really everything I think...
o if there's anything else I'll try my best to keep you in the loop.
Thanks,
Margaret.
That's really everything I think...
o if there's anything else I'll try my best to keep you in the loop.
Thanks,
Margaret.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Reflection.
I've probably used this color before, because I really like it. If not, you now know my favorite.
Let's make a hypothetical situation!
Say that a person was abused when they were very young by their sibling, and say the parents didn't notice it. The sibling who abused the other sibling is X. The sibling who was abused by X is Y, and the environment is Z. The parents are A, and B, and the friends of Y are C.
This is the point of view for Y, because reasons.
When Y goes to school they have the first two years as a "normal" child, but on the third year everything changes. They become withdrawn, and then Z comes into play. Z could be anything really, but for this exercise we can have Z be the teacher, the one who should have noticed that something was wrong with Y, because Y wasn't like the other kids. Y was sucked into their own world, not interacting much with the other kids, in face Y would hide under tables and hiss at people! Y was constantly reading, yet they did poorly with schoolwork. This is the beginning of Y and their career at school as a "dumb" kid.
You know what? Screw the alphabet.
What I want to say is that it's important to validate your feelings. We feel, we're human. The fact that we're alive and feeling is something that's so important because that feeling is what we all strive for. It's to feel that I believe that we strive for. Happiness, sadness, joy, calm, whatever your poison is, recognizing that you are feeling something and then validating that feeling is ground breaking. By the way, this is me at 1:16 AM writing. This has no witty punchline, no pre-laid out thoughts. This is raw work, so if you want to, please tell me if your opinion differs.
Back on track, I'm just struggling with a few things, and the memories overload me. I'll be in the middle of my life, and suddenly I'll be taken back into my memories. Little memories that meant nothing now actually mean something, and they've come back with a vengeance. Remember that one time what you did this? Or hey, what about that other time?
I suppose my more coherent/rational thoughts should be documented, and not this drivel.
Let's make a hypothetical situation!
Say that a person was abused when they were very young by their sibling, and say the parents didn't notice it. The sibling who abused the other sibling is X. The sibling who was abused by X is Y, and the environment is Z. The parents are A, and B, and the friends of Y are C.
This is the point of view for Y, because reasons.
When Y goes to school they have the first two years as a "normal" child, but on the third year everything changes. They become withdrawn, and then Z comes into play. Z could be anything really, but for this exercise we can have Z be the teacher, the one who should have noticed that something was wrong with Y, because Y wasn't like the other kids. Y was sucked into their own world, not interacting much with the other kids, in face Y would hide under tables and hiss at people! Y was constantly reading, yet they did poorly with schoolwork. This is the beginning of Y and their career at school as a "dumb" kid.
You know what? Screw the alphabet.
What I want to say is that it's important to validate your feelings. We feel, we're human. The fact that we're alive and feeling is something that's so important because that feeling is what we all strive for. It's to feel that I believe that we strive for. Happiness, sadness, joy, calm, whatever your poison is, recognizing that you are feeling something and then validating that feeling is ground breaking. By the way, this is me at 1:16 AM writing. This has no witty punchline, no pre-laid out thoughts. This is raw work, so if you want to, please tell me if your opinion differs.
Back on track, I'm just struggling with a few things, and the memories overload me. I'll be in the middle of my life, and suddenly I'll be taken back into my memories. Little memories that meant nothing now actually mean something, and they've come back with a vengeance. Remember that one time what you did this? Or hey, what about that other time?
I suppose my more coherent/rational thoughts should be documented, and not this drivel.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Pasta Rules.
Today's post color is... pasta! Well, I think it kind of has a grain-ish sheen to it... right....?
Anywho, the topic is only loosely related to pasta, and that's only because I had a random urge to eat pasta today. This is actually a riveting tale about my current illness: A nauseating, throat-constricting, mind-blowing gang beat-down of a cold!
Bon Appetit ;)
I'm not really going to get into any gritty details for *slight* fear that I'll get bombarded with angry comments about monitors needing to be replaced...
This cold has been such a great experience don't get me wrong, but sharing isn't caring in this case.
Unless I don't like you.
I'll share this with you.
My not-so-subtle attempts at getting certain people to wipe their faces across their respective screens aside, I figured I'd share some helpful things to avoid if you ever find yourself in a situation like mine.
First and foremost, if you have the ability to do so, take medications. I know most everyone on the planet can drink unicorn spit, jerkbutt, I mean if you aren't on any medications that the cold medicine would interfere with, take them. Yes, I know they're gross and look like pumpkin gizzards, but I'm pretty sure you'll heal quicker. In my personal experience I couldn't take cold medicine, but my dad could. We both got ill at around the same time, and he's been taking the remedies (I got sick of saying medicine...) and he's getting better a lot faster than I am. There are tonics out there *just* for fighting these buggers, so if you can, I suggest taking advantage of them.
In my particular case I couldn't sleep that much, so I decided to be smart and tried to excersize to run my stamina down.
I broke a sweat by trying to sit up, so it wasn't my best plan.
Be an obedient leper and sit in bed. I don't care if your eyes are unscrewing from all the flailing around you're doing trying to get comfortable, don't get out of bed. We all are on the page that gravity is out to get us, right? Good. Well as soon as you get up, it's going to take that opportunity to introduce you to the floor (Think of it like a clingy ex), who then won't let you up. If you must, just be aware of this, okay?
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Something that people struggling with mental illnesses should read.
No fancy colors for today, I'm in an odd place right now.
I've been reflecting on how I treat myself as of late, and I'm shocked to report that I've wanted to write this a long time ago, but haven't ever gotten the will to do it. As someone who struggles with depression and a few others, I often put myself down to the point of tears, and I think that's how you're supposed to talk to yourself. But, the thing is that you shouldn't. You're struggling with depression, bipolar, PTSD, or the unending game with whatever your poison is, and you don't have the time or energy for that shit. I know just how hard it is to think in a positive manner in a world colored grey and black, but I've put myself on notice from here on out. Even if it's not thinking a positive thought, but thinking one less negative thought, give your battered psyche a break, because in the end, the only person who can change your life is you. You are the only one with the power to change that ceaseless discharge (Dark Souls boss!) of hatred. I've started by saying "Do you really have the energy for this right now?", or "Maybe never jerk, I have games to play." I've really been focusing that I actually do something besides lay in bed all day, wanting to die. I was actually there a few days ago, and it opened my eyes that simply getting out of bed to walk around is a herculean feat. That day I couldn't eat, couldn't cry, couldn't do anything but stare blankly at the wall. The day seemed to drag on, but I was rendered helpless to my own mind, and that sucked so much. That dragged me back to the days when I was waiting for a car to hit me, waiting for something horrible to happen, and that sucked. So, without getting too into my personal battle, I just wanted to say give yourself a bit of a break. Surfing the net is better than laying in bed. Walking around is better than laying in bed. Treat yourself with the dignity and respect you treat other people with, and just give it a rest. Please, do it for yourself, because you deserve that, and so much more.
I've been reflecting on how I treat myself as of late, and I'm shocked to report that I've wanted to write this a long time ago, but haven't ever gotten the will to do it. As someone who struggles with depression and a few others, I often put myself down to the point of tears, and I think that's how you're supposed to talk to yourself. But, the thing is that you shouldn't. You're struggling with depression, bipolar, PTSD, or the unending game with whatever your poison is, and you don't have the time or energy for that shit. I know just how hard it is to think in a positive manner in a world colored grey and black, but I've put myself on notice from here on out. Even if it's not thinking a positive thought, but thinking one less negative thought, give your battered psyche a break, because in the end, the only person who can change your life is you. You are the only one with the power to change that ceaseless discharge (Dark Souls boss!) of hatred. I've started by saying "Do you really have the energy for this right now?", or "Maybe never jerk, I have games to play." I've really been focusing that I actually do something besides lay in bed all day, wanting to die. I was actually there a few days ago, and it opened my eyes that simply getting out of bed to walk around is a herculean feat. That day I couldn't eat, couldn't cry, couldn't do anything but stare blankly at the wall. The day seemed to drag on, but I was rendered helpless to my own mind, and that sucked so much. That dragged me back to the days when I was waiting for a car to hit me, waiting for something horrible to happen, and that sucked. So, without getting too into my personal battle, I just wanted to say give yourself a bit of a break. Surfing the net is better than laying in bed. Walking around is better than laying in bed. Treat yourself with the dignity and respect you treat other people with, and just give it a rest. Please, do it for yourself, because you deserve that, and so much more.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Better late than never.
Today will be *gold*
I recently mentioned to everyone that I sang, so it's only reasonable that I share my voice with you guys! Sorry it took so long, I was too busy being a snark bag. (Get it?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loUjgjnAO0g
http://www.reddit.com/r/DarkSouls2/comments/2mtlqy/milfanito/
https://soundcloud.com/makosaurusrex
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Wow!!!
This is just a little update that this blog has reached over 500 views! Thank you so much everyone! Please continue to support me!
(As always, I love comments, so comment away! Also, I want to make this a makeup blog too, so.... any idea how to do that? ^^; )
(As always, I love comments, so comment away! Also, I want to make this a makeup blog too, so.... any idea how to do that? ^^; )
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