A very uncomfortable epiphany that will make everyone want to wring my neck.

Welcome to the color of the post section of the post! I'm being painfully obvious because I haven't written properly in quite a while. So for the color, I tried to make it the color of a tongue. 

Awkward, right?

Yep.

I feel like in any other circumstance this would never make any sense whatsoever. However, tongues are actually quite necessary for the post (Tasting is the actual topic that's needed, but who's keeping count?), so this revolting shade of red is going to tie this post together better than a throw rug hides that awful yellowy residue you get after cleaning up a pile of cat vomit.

Anyways, that awkward epiphany I was talking about that would make everyone want to wring my neck is closely related to tasting things, and tongues, so let's start with the spread of personal information! Bear with me, this is for your benefit.

Or maybe it's just so I don't sound like a complete freak-wad from the internet.

So, I have horrible habits when it comes to eating. I make various excuses for my neglect of this vital action which sustains life, whether it's being busy, sleeping, or indifference, but that all eventually boils down to me being a massive dolt. If you actually know who I am, then you're probably well acquainted with this character flaw of mine (I'm looking at you, smog-dragon), and it most certainly has caused you a headache at one point or the other. Anyways, I was sitting around being brilliant (read: playing Solitaire), when I noticed that I was tasting my own mouth. As soon as I was aware that I was tasting my own mouth, I couldn't stop tasting it, thus leading to a series of expletives ricocheting off the walls of my lair. In an effort to rid myself of this nuisance, I went and grabbed some fruit, and viciously tore through its flesh. (The previous statement was an effort for you to picture me as a dragon. Please feel free to see a mythical beast typing right about... now.) 

Upon releasing myself from that headache-in-waiting, I came up with a good rule of thumb for eating, and I'll probably actually follow it! Here it is, for anyone wondering: Whenever I can taste my own mouth, go and eat something.

Now that I've spilled my guts all over the page, I think I'm going to do something productive like write a sonat-

No, I have to go eat, because I can taste my mouth again.

So much for doing something fun.

Enjoy being aware of the flavor of your mouth, people of the internet. Enjoy.

The Problem with Multiple Identities in a Sea of Criminals.

Today's post is sponsored by my immense frustration in trying to log into various websites. To tone my fury down, the post color is this lovely sage green.

When I was twelve, I thought it'd be a great idea to make multiple email accounts and whatnot, because think of the protection! If I have all of these names, nobody could find me!

I was dumb.

While it would confuse the hell out of anyone trying for some unknown reason to find me, I overlooked one crucial detail:

I can barely remember one email address, much less four.

Now, as an eighteen year old, I have *gasp* responsibilities! One of those is my job, of course, but I also need to keep in contact with people who prefer email to texting. I've been trying for a couple hours to align all of my internet aliases under one name, and then erase the little bastards from my sight, which would result in quite a large amount of ease for me. 

Of course because people suck, there are internet criminals who love messing around with other people, and to protect the identities of the customers, there are gross things called capatchas, and everything is linked up to an email account.

...

I believe you can read into what I'm trying to say.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are many others who share this curse with me, so I decided to write about it so we could all join together in anger.

Comrades of fury!

Or not.

Apologies and Organization

Well... It's certainly been a while...
To punish myself, I'm writing in rose. I hope it offers some consolation... 

Though the title may seem like a shot in the dark, I actually put some thought into its' creation. I am apologizing for my incredible procrastination, due to the loss of my humor and creativity.

I blame organization.

When I organize, I tend to have massive goals about how I'll never lose anything again, because of the perfect system that I've created...

only to forget said system the next day.

Sometimes I joke around about it, saying that I lose things in all the right places.

But loss is still loss, and ultimately I end up tearing my room apart, ending my system, and creating a new headache for myself. I'm sure you fabulous people have been in circumstances similar to the one I've just described, so I've devised a system to perfect your system in a systematic fashion.

Department of Redundancy Department?

Perhaps...

Anyways, I'll try not to indulge my own love for talking endlessly about subjects that really shouldn't be drawn out, so here's my thought.

WRITE. THE. SYSTEM. DOWN. AND. TAPE. IT. TO. YOUR. WALL.

I'm actually going to try this, and I'll post the results when I drag myself out out this writing slump I've been in for the past couple months. But I think it'd have positive results... Unless your walls are coated in a mish-mash of disorganized earthquake...

I can't help you if that's the case.

My apologies.

See you next month... Or week... I really don't know. But when it hits, it'l be like a tidal wave of sarcasm, washing away the barren humor I've been sporting.

I'm sure it will be magical.

Until then, Adieu 

First Glimpses of a Whole Year.

The magical color of today's post will be this pretty indigo shade. 

If you're freaked out at all by the title of this post, don't worry, because this isn't going to be a spray cheese fest of glistening tears and smiles. I'm honestly going to point out everything I've done within these twenty four hours, and try to word them in a way that'll make an acceptable post. 

Don't roast me for this, I've just been plagued by the bane of my pessimistic existence otherwise known as holiday cheer.

Bah. Hum. Bug.

Anyways, things have been the same as they always are. There was petting of cats, and cats begging for more food and whatnot; cleaning, sleeping, snarking, and the all important gaming.

My life in a nutshell.

I don't know why there's so much hype about New Years, besides the fact it's an excuse for everyone over the drinking age to get drunk. 

I've been seriously doubting the sanity of the people in America.

Something else that's always been on my mind is why people always make resolutions today. It's pretty much common news that these self-promises aren't the strongest and will wilt and die within the next few months. But I suppose that's the way people work these days.

I think we should all resolve to be less annoying! - The whining about not being annoying starts right about... Now. Whenever I see people in denial I have to snicker inwardly while pulling a jerkwad move at the same time. -

As I'm reading back over this, I realize how completely negative this shpiel of words is, and am now desperately shuffling through my thoughts to find something funny.

It's not working. 

I guess I'll leave this train wreck of literature here, and try to find something humorous soon so I don't kill *all* the happiness of the world.

If only I could leave a gif. of a person with a long cape dramatically turning around and muttering "I'll be back"... Well, the thought is here!